2018 was our year. Scotty got to pick her costume, we trained by knocking on the coat closet door and saying "trick or treat", we pre-gamed with candy and talked it up. And Scotty LOVED it and asked if we could have Halloween again all the way until Christmas. 

She went for 1 hour with mom and then 1 hour with dad. She avoided scary doors and got excited about all the other kids that were out. She didn't love dad talking too long with neighbors and she loved being squired about the neighborhood in the stroller with mom. 

Eventually (after a few helpful books, podcasts, time and perspective) I got to where I am now- thriving in all areas while handling my responsibilities. Yes, making the choice for one person to stay home is a luxury. Studies show that men who have stay at home (SAH) wives earn more, are happier and are promoted more quickly. It makes sense because it's a better division of labor! I'm sure the same is true for working women with husbands at home. 

Personal disclaimer: I'm on team "live your life how you want" but anyone who says balance is achievable as a working mom is lying to your face. You also don't have to have balance to enjoy being a working mom, but for me, I wasn't able to align my personal values with the sacrifices in some areas of my life I was making. I respect, understand and occasionally envy full time working mamas and I took my role change seriously because I understand both sides.    

After initially making the mistake of expecting mom perfection, I eventually came to a place of realistic productivity. I wish I'd known/believed at least some of these tips while I working. Here's what I'm doing to make my life easier:

1. I simplified down to the joyful

3. I made cleaning way less drama

I might not have been a great tidier, but I always prided myself on having a clean house (clean = sanitary. tidy = picked up, uncluttered). For a while I believed I loved deep cleaning bathrooms and scrubbing things for hours at a time. I think I just enjoyed the high accomplishing such a big, important task all at once.

But here's the problem, cleaning your entire house in a day isn't sustainable as you grow your family and house size. It will just be an impossibly massive task that never really gets done. People live in your house and will consistently make it dirty so you should just consistently clean.

Sustainable for me is doing a chore a day and a load of laundry a day. If you've already built up your daily tidying habits, it's easy to add on 15 to 30 minutes a day of a cleaning chore. I tried to come up with a system myself because it's kind of obvious but ended up just using the clean mama system. No need to reinvent the wheel, I just want something low stress. 

4. I try to make everything easier for myself

I'm just getting started in the mom game. Number two is arriving soon and the idea of a baby and a toddler rocking my world has made me a collector of mom-hacks. 

Here's some hacks I've started doing, sorry if they're obvious:

- Jessi mentioned on Insta-stories that she doesn't fold her kids clothes and she just labeled their drawers with pictures (shirts, pants, etc.) so they could put them away themselves. Her kids are 6, 4 & 2 and I was like duh genius! Here I am wasting life folding Scotty's clothes and making it impossible for her to help for years. Don't fold kids' clothes! 

- I got baskets at the Dollar tree and put the same exact cleaning supplies in each of my 4 bathrooms. I use this super cheap, homemade disinfecting spray, rag towels and super cheap glass cleaner so each one cost less than $10. It makes me feel like a princess to not lug cleaning supplies around. 

- I meal plan dinner for the entire month. It's the worst hour of my life the first Sunday of the month but at the end I've made future Laura's life a million times easier. And future Laura is all that matters. 

- Along those lines, I've started doing freezer meals. And not like those crazy ladies who take a whole Saturday do it. I just make two of the meal I'm making for dinner and freeze one. They last for about 3 months so we don't have that meal again for a month or two. Or I'll throw some chicken in the crockpot with salsa or buffalo wing sauce and then throw it in a freezer bag so I have prepped chicken. Once again, it's still work upfront but current/future Laura cooks almost every night with minimal stress so *winning.*

5. I pre-game mom brain

My mail flew off the top of my car today as I drove down my street to the grocery store. I have mom brain. This wet-erase calendar is my brain on the wall of my house. 

What's for dinner? Look at the board. Do I need to be somewhere? When is our next date night? What fun things do I have planned for Scotty this month? Once again, I take time to make future Laura a rockstar. Her family does fun recreational activities and gets their teeth cleaned regularly so it's magic.  

Once again, I'm not 100% perfect at any of these and I'm okay with it. You have to figure out what tactics work for you.  Getting your mom mojo or whatever you want to call it is personal. 

Here are some resources that helped me when I was struggling to find my mom jam: 

Podcasts:

Happier by Gretchen Rubin

Awesome with Alison by Alison Faulkner

The Life Coach School Podcast by Brooke Castillo

Young House Love Has a Podcast by Sherri and John Petersik (I enjoy their podcast for entertainment/ home improvement ideas but they occasionally give good overall life tips or have helpful experts on).

  

Books:

You are a badass by Jen Sincero (LOVED the audiobook read by Jen herself)

The life-changing magic of tidying up by Marie Kondo (literally could not read, had to listen)

Any Berne Brown book or TED Talk (though the Life Coach School Podcast has one episode on vulnerability that's absolutely amazing if you want to save some time). 

Websites/Influencers:

Clean Mama- website is sometimes helpful, but I enjoy her Instagram

Jordan Page- Insta stories get long but she does share helpful mom hacks & you can pick what you want to implement.

@thehomeedit I love the visual organization motivation (nesting mode right here)

@sliceofstyle I follow Jenica because I like her personally but I'm really loving her insta-stories series Joy with Jenica. She talks about habits that she's starting that make her happier while she's doing the twin mom juggling thing. I need to start consistently plugging my phone in the kitchen by 9 like she does.