The cliched joke about babies not coming with instruction manuals is painfully true. It's scary when you're hit with the realization you have to teach a tiny, uncommunicative human every basic of life. Especially when you head to Google for assistance only to be bombarded by every parenting and sleep training philosophy on the planet from which you choose then execute. Yikes.
Meet Your Baby Scientist
They found babies learn by testing hypothesis and doing experiments much like scientists do. For example, babies don't understand gravity intuitively. So they drop their spoon or bottle on the ground over and over because a good scientist knows to replicate an experiment to be sure the results are consistent. What if the spoon fell to the ceiling one time?
Parents often unintentionally give a psychology lesson during their baby scientist's gravity experiments. When baby drops the spoon over the edge of the high chair, mom picks up and gives it back without fail. So after repeating this ritual more the baby scientist has confirmed if they drop something, mom will pick it up! Now they've discovered a fun game too!
I'm pretty sure at this point a HUGE flashing lightbulb appeared above my head and I said oh my gosh, I'm teaching Scotty when she cries at night mom will immediately bring her a bottle and snuggle. I wasn't letting my baby scientist experiment with self-soothing techniques when she woke up.
Now as I react to situations, I try to think, what is the conclusion I want my baby scientist to draw from my actions? Instead of responding with my gut reaction, I try to take a step back and train myself to look at this situation a little more objectively.
The Bottom Line
Seeing Scottlyn with my "baby scientist" lens helps me teach her without any guilt, which I'd felt conflicted with previously. I'd felt that I was being selfish by being disciplined and pushing past her resistance and changing her behavior through my actions. Now I just tell myself I'm participating in my baby scientist's experiment, it's her way of learning and I'm teaching her things that will benefit her in the future.
Here's a TED talk with the professor, Alison Gopnik, where she discusses more of her work if you're interested.
Personally I fall somewhere between strict disciplinarian CIO type parenting and total crunchy, co-sleeper looser parenting. I think I'm in a large club of those people. So as I was floundering around the first six months making it up as I went, I heard a lady on NPR talk about a recent research findings on babies and toddlers at UC Berkeley.
They found babies learn by testing hypothesis and doing experiments much like scientists do. For example, babies don't understand gravity intuitively. So they drop their spoon or bottle on the ground over and over because a good scientist knows to replicate an experiment to be sure the results are consistent. What if the spoon fell to the ceiling one time?
I'm pretty sure at this point a HUGE flashing lightbulb appeared above my head and I said oh my gosh, I'm teaching Scotty when she cries at night mom will immediately bring her a bottle and snuggle. I wasn't letting my baby scientist experiment with self-soothing techniques when she woke up.
Now as I react to situations, I try to think, what is the conclusion I want my baby scientist to draw from my actions? Instead of responding with my gut reaction, I try to take a step back and train myself to look at this situation a little more objectively.
The Bottom Line
Seeing Scottlyn with my "baby scientist" lens helps me teach her without any guilt, which I'd felt conflicted with previously. I'd felt that I was being selfish by being disciplined and pushing past her resistance and changing her behavior through my actions. Now I just tell myself I'm participating in my baby scientist's experiment, it's her way of learning and I'm teaching her things that will benefit her in the future.
Here's a TED talk with the professor, Alison Gopnik, where she discusses more of her work if you're interested.
